what is an endogenic system?

an endogenic system is a type of neurological experience of plurality (multiple personalities/ parts) where trauma did not cause the initial instance of plurality.

—explaining my personal experience of plurality.

We identify as an endogenic system.

The first thing this means is that we don’t experience our life with one worldview or perspective, one set of values or ideas or preferences or desires.
We experience many different perspectives and ways of being across all areas of life. It can be very confusing, and difficult to balance at times. It also can be so rewarding and fulfilling to accept our self and move through life with such a unique point of view.

The second thing this means is that we do not identify as being disordered, or as being traumagenic in our formation.

Endogenic system simply means “not born from trauma” and is an umbrella term that can be used and defined by many people in the community in different ways. This is simply the way I describe it to those I’m close with.

So many of us are not formed from trauma; even if we’ve gotten some after we arrived or decided to help take on someone else’s, it’s not why we arrived in the system. And we’ve made it a goal that one day, trauma won’t be the reason anyone is in the system anymore; everyone will find new things to hold.

And so while we experience so many similarities with other systems of all types, we simply don’t experience our system as a function of our trauma.

We do experience the symptoms of DID and qualify for that diagnosis with our therapist and psychiatrist. Most often our system symptoms show up as memory loss, and heavy depersonalization and derealization.

Here is how we recently explained our internal experience to a friend:

imagine that from this photo, each of these colors is one of our members.
they often overlap and share similarities, they all occupy the same space and can pretty much 100% of the time hear everyone’s thoughts.
Inside of my internal experience of my brain and system, there is my mind space. This is the space behind my “thinking space” (my prefrontal cortex) that i go to when i close my eyes. It’s a large forest where everyone has their own home/ spaces. there is a lake, a lazy river, trails, mountains far off that we haven’t explored, and our void is in the shape of an abandoned and falling apart castle. (It’s a scary place.)