when the thorn bush turns white

#firstquarter

chapter one:

My mom and her husband Phil drove me to the Phoenix airport on a bright day in late July. The AC in Phil’s Chevy Tahoe was on full blast to fight the summer heat raging outside. The backseat and trunk of the car contained only me and my two carry ons, having just been emptied at the post office of all my boxes. I knew better than to trust my mom to remember to send them, better to do it myself before flying out. They’d all arrive just a few days after me, since Charlie had volunteered to pay expedited shipping. He said he just wanted to help me settle in quickly before my first semester of school, but every time he offered to be generous it just felt like he was trying to assuage his guilt for missing my entire childhood.

Forks, Washington—a quiet, rainy, tiny college town in the Olympic peninsula—was my travel destination. That’s where my dad Charlie lives, and where I’ll be living too for the next four years. It was by no means my first choice for college, but after learning that my college fund from my grandparents had been drained by my mother several years ago, and that now with her marriage to a Major League Baseball player, she has too much money for me to get any aid (money that they won’t spend on my college). Well, that didn’t leave me many alternatives when Charlie offered up free housing and financial support to go to his alma mater on a full ride.

Charlie and I haven’t spent much time together in the past few years. My mother left Forks when I was four, and after their divorce, I saw him for summers and every other holiday until I was fifteen and allowed to choose for myself. After that, he took me on a two week vacation every year, and otherwise never visited. My mom has never talked about why she left him, except to lament when I was younger that he must not have loved us very much if he chose staying in Forks over being with us. My mother’s theatrics aside, I’ve tended to agree with her about him.

My beautiful mother, with her cropped dark hair and bright eyes wreathed in laugh lines, eyes now glassy as she turns them on me. Standing in the drop off lane at the airport is one of her favorite places to get emotional and act like we’ll never see each other again. I love her so much—she’s always been my best friend—but I can’t help thinking how nice it will be to not have to look after my own mother.

Her eyes are getting drippy as she holds me at arms length, “I love you so much Bella,”

“I know mom,” I’m struggling not to roll my eyes at her.

“And if you don’t like it there just call me okay, we can always come back to the house here and figure something out at UofA for next semester, okay?” She looks worried about me.

“Mom, I promise it’ll be good! It’s a free education. And who knows, maybe it’ll give Charlie and I a fresh start to reconnect in our relationship.”

This time she’s the one trying not to roll her eyes, and she fails. The years have not mellowed her bitterness towards him.

“Okay. Just be safe, and call me as soon as you land, and email me or text me everyday!” She pulls me into a tight hug, and for a moment I breath in her scent and give into the feelings of comfort that only a mom can give. The comfort ends with the hug, as I’m reminded that I’m the one who provides comfort and support in our relationship. I give her a kiss on the cheek and turn to Phil who is dutifully holding my bags. I take them from him, along with a quick side hug.

“Take care of her for me, Phil.” He will. He’s a sweet guy with a soft temperament and a good responsible head on his shoulders.

He nods in response, and I give the wide blue sky and hot Arizona sun one last loving look before heading towards my future.

My plane landed early in Port Angeles which normally would’ve tempted me to explore the area a bit, but it was raining. With a deep sigh in my chest, I carted myself and my things to a window seat by the pickup lane of the small airport and pulled out a book. The thought of getting rained on sent a wave of displeasure and ick over my skin, but I had to admit, through the protection of the window it did create a very cozy vibe for reading. I didn’t have to wait long; Charlie is absurdly punctual.

He pulled up in the police cruiser, why? I’ll never know since he has a perfectly nice civilian car that just sits at the police lot most days. Charlie is the police chief of the town of Forks—he presides over a small station of two deputies, one receptionist, and three cells that serve mostly as drunk tanks to dry out college kids and the occasional over indulgent townie. He’s more like a forest sheriff than a cop, but Forks has always seen itself as fancier than it really is. It’s what happens when a tiny town gets a college and a generation later all the residents who’ve stayed are “intellectuals”.

As I walk out into the chilly wet afternoon, I thank the gods that I brought a good sweater to wear over the t-shirt I left Phoenix in. I also send thanks to the style gods for the good talking to my best friend gave me over the summer about my wardrobe. The chunky leather boots she convinced me to buy fair much better in the puddles I’m stepping in than my old converse would have.

Charlie already has the trunk open and takes my bags before I can even say anything.

“Hey Bells. I’m real glad you’re here. Ready to go?” The way he looks at me, all earnest like, is not how I remember him. I haven’t seen him since last summer and I wonder if he’s changed or just my perspective has.

“Yeah, for sure. Are we just going straight to the house?” I’m opening the car door hoping he’ll follow my lead so we can have this conversation in the car and not standing in the cold. He also swings into the cruiser and has it at a crispy warm setting. His forethought makes me feel something weird.

“I figured we’d swing by the house to drop your bags and then we could go to the diner for dinner?”

I want things to be smooth with Charlie so even though I’d much rather eat a PBJ and sit by the big bay windows in my bedroom reading, I say, “Sure.”

The rest of the drive is a comfortable silence. Port Angeles is bigger than I remember and they’ve renovated a lot of their down town with trendy little shops and cute sidewalks. Once we reach the city limits the rest of the drive is just tall coniferous trees bordering forests and forests and forests.

You always know when you’ve entered Forks because of the big well lit sign and large sprawling university campus that you pass. Forks has one main road connected to a single highway that takes you towards either Seattle or Portland. Past the big sign and the long drive that takes you into campus is a downtown that’s surprisingly big until you realize the town contains nothing else.

If it isn’t downtown, it doesn’t exist in Forks. As we pass through I see the lights coming on in the square, a few people milling about the sidewalks with umbrellas and coffee cups. As we turn right between two tall brick buildings, I begrudgingly think that the town also seems nicer than I remember, and that I just might not hate it here. Charlie’s house is the only thing down Swan Lane, which just turns into a driveway at the end.

“Did Swan Lane get paved recently?” The ride feels smoother than I remember from my last summer here. I’m starting to have a weird disconnect between my memories and expectations of this place, and what it’s actually like.

“Yeah, a couple years back I got it done. With the snow every year it just seemed like a good idea to get rid of the gravel.”

As he turned the last bend to pull into the driveway, I audibly gasped.

“Okay, the house DEFINITELY didn’t look like this the last time I was here. Why is it so huge?!” I only asked about it’s largeness but it also had an updated paint job, a porch on the side that looked like it went around the back of the house with lights strung up over it, and the whole thing just looked sort of newer and updated.

Charlie laughed, a deep and loud laugh that I can’t ever remember hearing, before saying,

“I added the addition last summer; it looks a bit different inside now too.”

Speechless, I just stared at the house. He got out and got my bags, and headed to what was apparently an unlocked front door. In a haze, I got out of the car and followed him inside.

By the time I got in the door, he was headed up a staircase to my left.

“Oh my god! Dad where are we? This is not your house. There’s no way.” I heard him chuckle and followed him up the stairs, as they turned and opened to the second floor. On the right side were two closed doors, and on my left (which I assumed was the main project of the addition) stood Charlie, with a silly embarrassed grin.

He stood in the middle of a space big enough to be a studio apartment. On the back wall were the bay windows of my old bedroom, with a plush reading chair in front of them. The wall to the side had a fireplace in the center of it, with floor to ceiling shelves on either side of it. The wall to the front of the house, behind me, had two big windows on either side of an antique writing desk, with a leather desk chair at it. There was a big Persian rug centered in front of the fireplace, and mahogany wood flooring everywhere the rug didn’t cover. The rest of the room was empty.

“What do you think?” Charlie looked nervous? To hear my answer.

“I think it’s beautiful. And that it looks really expensive! What is this, your new home office?”

“No. My office is downstairs. This is yours. The whole second floor is for you actually. I thought you might want space more to yourself now your in college and all. Those doors over there are your bedroom and bathroom.”

Now I was really speechless. Was I about to cry?

“Dad, how can you afford all of this? Why….just, why?”

“Well, I’ve been in therapy for a while now an—”

“Sorry what? You’ve been in therapy? How long?”

“Idunno going on about two years probably…”

“Two years?! Why did you never tell me about it?”

“Well Bells, when I started we weren’t really talking and it took a lot of work on myself to realize I needed to reach out first if I wanted us to have a good relationship.”

“Okkaayyyy.. sorry I interrupted you, what does that have to do with all—”I gestured wildly with my hands, “All this?”

“My therapist made me do an exercise where I had to imagine what I wish had done differently as your dad, or had happened differently in your childhood. I wished you had lived with me at some point.” He shrugged noncommittally as if that explained the whole thing.

“How does wishing I lived with you as a kid turn into this?”

Charlie scratched his head, and looked out the window.

“Why don’t we talk more about it over dinner? It’s getting dark, let’s head to the diner before it gets too late.”

The diner, thankfully had not changed. My head was spinning over everything else so I was grateful for the familiar 50s decor, the corner booth we slid into, the windows looking out at downtown, even the menus were the same. Our waitress looked familiar and clearly remembered me, so I just smiled politely and nodded, and ordered a coke and a burger plate. Charlie ordered a salmon.. (a salmon?? !) entree, and when he did it caused me to look hard at him, to figure out if he was a clone or if I was in a parallel universe or something. He looked different too. Just like the house. And the driveway. And the town.

His beard was well trimmed and his hair had a neat cut. I think there was product in his hair. He wasn’t wearing his uniform which I only noticed now. He was wearing a knit sweater and black jeans, with a carhart jacket. His skin looked glowy and he looked broader..more muscly than he did last summer.

He laughed again at my staring, “What, surprised that I clean up nice, or that I did the cleaning up?”

“Uhhmmm.. both I guess? Dad are you gonna tell me what’s going on? If you order wine I swear to god I’ll pass out.” Charlie was a beer drinker through and through. I’d never seen him drink anything else. Not liquor of any kind, not cider, not wine, just beer.

“Okay. Do you think you’ll pass out if I order a craft beer?”

“A craft beer is still a beer.. I guess that’s fine.” Another laugh from Charlie. Have I ever seen him be this consistently joyful?

The waitress looked perplexed but amused at our interaction. “Your usual draft Charlie?”

“Do you have anything new?” She shook her head no. “Then yeah, usual is great.”

I continued to look at him expectantly, hoping he’d get the message to spill. He sighed.

“Well, after your mother left me… I guess after that I was just continuing on, surviving day after day. I watched baseball. Went fishing or hunting with the guys. Went to work. But it was like autopilot. I looked forward to your visits, but then it seemed like you didn’t want to be here. And I didn’t really know how to talk to you. Or to anyone about anything deeper than the weather. So you know, more autopilot. Eventually you stopped visiting a few years ago, I had less to look forward to. Things were pretty bleak. Billy told me about therapy and I decided to give it a try, because what could it hurt? And I guess that’s when things started changing for me.”

“Okay that still doesn’t explain why you built me a—a—,”

“It’s called a sitting room.”

“A sitting room!” Okay I probably should lower my voice, an older guy across the diner looked over at us weird. “I still don’t understand. And if you’ve been in therapy and all that, and feel bad about missing out on my childhood or whatever.. why didn’t you reach out sooner? I just… don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Bells.. I did reach out, remember? I sent you letters. Last year I asked you to spend the summer but you said you were busy. I also tried calling more but I understand why you wouldn’t wanna talk to your dad all the time during your senior year.” He was right about the calls now that I think about it, I did screen more calls from him last year, but not that many more.

“What letters?” I know for a fact I didn’t get any letters from Charlie. I kept a memory box like a sap, and I keep every sentimental thing anyone gives me. I have every card he ever sent me for birthdays or holidays.

“I sent you.. hold on let me think.. probably about 13 letters? At this point. It’s an exercise my therapist recommended and I liked doing it so I just kept it up. I sent you one almost every month the past year and a half.”

“No you didn’t.” Charlie was beginning to look flustered and confused.

“Yes. I did. Are you saying you never got a single letter I sent you?” At this point he seemed pained. I almost wanted to lie and say I did get them, but I couldn’t believably lie about that. It would be clear I have no idea what they said. And then I’d have to also believably lie about why I never responded to them.

“I’m sorry Dad but I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His whole face dropped.

“Oh. I wonder why you didn’t get them. I guess now at least I don’t have to keep thinking you hate me and that’s why you didn’t respond.”

“Of course I don’t hate you! Just because we’ve never gotten on particularly well doesn’t mean I hate you.” He looked like he had something more to say on the subject of the letters, but instead changed the subject.

“Well you’re here now. That’s what matters most to me. Anyways, about the sitting room, I was watching this documentary show about the lives of famous authors, and all the ones who weren’t dirt poor had sitting rooms where they hosted lively debates or sat and read or wrote their works. And I know you want to be a writer and are going to school and all, and I was already in the process of planning the addition and renovation to the house so I just decided to make that space for you.” He looked embarrassed now.

“Okay.. but you said you built it last summer. How did you know that this year I would say yes to your offer of living up here and going to the university?” He was looking down now. It was clear he didn’t want to answer.

“Don’t you think if you want us to have a good relationship we should start by being honest with one another?” He looked up at that. He seemed hopeful to hear me say something about us having a good relationship.

“Yeah. Well..I didn’t know for sure. About your mom and stuff with her, but I kind of assumed that maybe she blew through your college fund, and I figured Phil wouldn’t pay for someone else’s kid to go to college since they just got married and all. But I’ve learned that people want to feel like they have options so I didn’t want to pressure you into coming here, I just wanted you to know you had an option. If you don’t want to be here though, I also am willing to pay your tuition somewhere else. I just thought it was a good way to sort of..get you here.”

He looked ashamed at his confession that he could pay for me to go somewhere else, like he was just realizing that he did sort of back me into a corner by not giving me that option sooner. He is right that I probably wouldn’t have gotten here if he had offered to pay though.

“How are you Mr. Moneybags suddenly?” This also was confusing me. Charlie had always been comfortable, but he never seemed to have so much money before.

“Well.. I met someone. And they gave me some advice about what to do with my money instead of just sitting it in the bank. So I made a few investments, and when they grew I made a few more.  We’ve changed a lot of things at the station, hired another deputy too, so I ended up having more time on my hands and started consulting with other cities on their policing departments.”

I was in shock. I actually might’ve had a small stroke. He was seeing someone? Was he still seeing them, or was this a past fling? He was consulting? When did he become a good enough police chief that he could tell other cities how to police better? Forks isn’t even that big, what is there to police??

“You okay Bells? Still alive there?” He waved a hand in front of my face, and I snapped out of my daze.

“So are you gonna tell me who your seeing?” I waggled my eyebrows; trying to lighten the mood and change the subject at the same time, because I needed time to process. There was a lot to process.

“Well no. At least not right now. He doesn’t feel comfortable with folks knowing, and to be honest neither do I.” Charlie’s cheeks went beet red and he pulled at the collar of his sweater uncomfortably. I guess he wasn’t sure how I’d react to his big revelation but to be honest I wasn’t all that shocked.

“Is it Billy?” I could feel my eyes getting wide as saucers with my teasing—

“No, definitely not. Billy’s had it bad for one woman for years and is just too stubborn to do anything about it. Don’t ever tell him I said so though. And no more guessing.”

He looked at me, and I looked at him, and we ate in companionable silence, like a father and daughter that hadn’t been estranged only a few weeks before.

chapter two

My boxes arrived two days later. So I was in the middle of unpacking and setting up my things in my new space when a beat up red truck pulled into the driveway behind Charlie’s cruiser. I had been planning on just ignoring it, assuming it was someone coming to visit Charlie, when he called out for me to come downstairs. I set the stack of books I was going through in a neat pile on the floor by the built in shelves of my very own siting room, before running down the stairs.

Outside, Charlie stood by an older man in a wheelchair and a younger version of him standing behind it.

“Bella! This is Billy Black and his son Jacob. You remember them right?” Charlie was laughing and smiling, his hand clapped on Billy’s back didn’t move. He was close with these people, like chosen family.

“Yeah, I remember the Blacks, of course,” I paused to look at the young man, Jacob, “Is this your truck?”

Charlie piped up before Jacob could respond, “Nah Bels this is your homecoming present!”

“What?!”

The young man’s brow furrowed and he took a small step back, clearly taking my enthusiasm for disapproval.

“No way! How’d you know?”

I looked at Charlie, who now had a shit eating grin on his face.

“It would be impossible not to know Bels. You’ve been obsessed with refurbishing old trucks since I gave you that book on classic chevys when you were 12. Your facebook banner is a beat up old truck.”

He had a point there; I was still surprised that he not only remembered my interest, but had bought me an old truck. Jacob spoke up,

“I rebuilt her whole engine myself! She runs great.” He had a friendly smile, but it was the crinkle in the corner of his eyes that made an impression on me.

“That’s amazing, I’d love to hear about what you did!” Jacob blushed and looked away from me as he nodded in agreement.

“Why don’t you youngins take her for a spin while we get dinner started?” Billy suggested, looking around to see if anyone was unhappy with this plan. I was thrilled, I couldn’t wait to get into the truck. As Billy and Charlie headed inside, Jacob and I made for the driver side door at the same time.

“You know how to drive stick?” He asked with an eyebrow raised.

“You think Charlie would buy me a truck that I couldn’t drive?” I asked in jest and challenge, raising my eyebrow back at him. He let go of the door and chuckled; he seemed easygoing and kind,

“Go ahead, I’m happy to ride shotgun. Promise you won’t kill us?” He was still smiling and his eyes sparkled as he teased.

“I make no promises to not kill you.” I smile back at him as I slide into the cab of the truck. He closes my door for me before I can grab it, then saunters around the front of the truck to get in the passenger side. The moment I get to watch him, I see that he is tall and well built, he carries himself with confidence and a certain independence. His long hair looks silky and well taken care of. I have a momentary impulse to run my hands through it.

As he slides into the cab, we are both assessing each other. He wants to know if I can really handle this piece of machinery and I want to know what all he did to my new truck.

The inside could definitely use some refab work. The seats are a little drab with some pretty bad wear in the most used spots. The radio could do with replacing, and so on.

I put the key into the ignition and she roars to life. She sounds amazing. The hum of the engine is throaty and deep, not like newer silent or sleek models that purr and buzz. I find louder engines to be reassuring, like they’re reminding me that they’re still here, still working hard.

As we drive and talk, Jacob points at places for me to turn, and I get to see why so many of the locals are proud of this place and love it here. It’s beautiful. The forest here is un-tended and wild. There are wildflowers growing along the backroads and vines encircling the tallest trees I’ve ever seen. In the far distance mountains rise up behind the trees.

“It’s beautiful here isn’t it?” Jacob says wistfully. He’s staring into the trees seeing or hearing the forest say something that I don’t see or hear. “All of this used to be cared for and claimed by my people. My ancestors learned these forests and mountains, learned all of their names and uses and purpose in the ecosystem. But we’ve had to give up a lot to keep the tribe on the res going.” His voice is resigned but I also hear anger and disappointment there. He sounds like he wants to fight, but like he’s been the only one fighting for a long time—maybe for his whole life.

“Okay there’s a little turn around up here, we should probably head back for dinner now.”

I look at my watch and am surprised; I didn’t realize that we had been out here driving for so long—it’s been almost an hour. I feel more at ease talking to Jacob than I’ve ever felt talking to anyone before.

“Don’t worry though we’ve basically been going in loops so we’re close to your place still.” He gives me directions bit by bit and we’re back at Charlie’s in ten minutes.

“You know this area really well. Do you drive around for fun a lot or what?”

“We come to Charlie’s a lot.” He just shrugs.

“Well I don’t know if you go to the uni or not but if you ever need rides to classes or anything..”

He grins in a mischievous way that only sees one corner of his mouth go up—

“Yeah I’m starting uni this year, but I don’t need a ride. Maybe we’ll have classes together though.” He winks, smiles, the corner of his eye scrunches again. It’s adorable.

We arrived back at the house just as Charlie was setting the table on the porch. The lights were twinkling, Billy was parked in front of the grill, manning the skewered vegetables with a beer in hand.

“Hey! The two of you managed to get back just in time to enjoy the rewards of our labor without doing any yourself!” His laugh was infectious, even though his dad jokes were as unfunny as ever. As we all sat at the table, I could only move along with the flow of the evening; this arrangement of friends and family and dining at the table with the plates and the napkins was foreign to me. Renee considered herself an adventurer, not a cook or a hostess. We didn’t eat home cooked meals until I started learning how to cook when I was ten.

Someone taps my shoulder and I’m drawn out of my memories and back to the table.

“How is it Bella?” Billy looks at me from across the table. It had been Jacob that had tapped me.

“It’s delicious Billy.” I give him my best attempt at a natural smile and he seems to accept it. Jacob is giving me side eye as he shoves fried fish into his mouth, but soon enough he lets it go too.

Soon dinner is over and Jacob and I are talking about classes and majors and minors while doing the dishes.

“I’m going to go round up anything left on the porch,” I say walking towards the door. Jacob mumbles his assent before turning to throw some bubbles at me. It takes me by surprise and I laugh as I leave the kitchen.

I find Jacob intriguing, but remind myself of my promise to not get caught up in dating this year, to focus 100% on my studies.

Outside on the porch I almost walk into a hushed private conversation. I stop in the shadows, intrigued by their talk,

“The attacks are getting closer to our borders Billy. We may have to start forming hunting parties and protection details.”

“And you’re sure it’s a bear?”

“I’m pretty sure it isn’t a bear actually..” Charlie looks at Billy knowingly, “But what else could it be?”

Billy doesn’t answer and I take that as my cue to step into the light and grab what dishes are left on the grill and table.

Jacob and I finish up the dishes, and Charlie helps them load up in his car to take them back to the res, since they drove my truck over here. I learned a lot about Jacob during dish duty; he wants to major in ecology or conservation or maybe engineering, he’s still unsure. He loves classic horror films, listens to tons of music, likes to volunteer in the community garden on the res. He also is a big brother in the mentorship program on the res. I feel lucky to have met a potential friend so soon before classes start; especially since we do have two classes together, a math and a science.

As I tuck myself into bed I’m finding myself starting to really look forward to this year.

chapter three:

I hate first days. The only reprieve for this first day is that it is basically everyone else’s first day too. First days are terrible primarily because everything is new. The campus layout, the people, the professors, the cafeteria, and on and on and on. Thankfully colleges have orientation days, and I spent mine memorizing the campus map and walking back and forth to all my assigned lecture halls. And I only tripped twice, that day.

Now, on my first day, hopefully I won’t trip at all. I wore very practical shoes with what Ez calls one of my “gayest outfits” which is really just boyfriend jeans and an old bowling shirt over a long-sleeve.

When I looked in the mirror this morning, at the thrifted green button down bowling shirt and the watch on my wrist, and the loose jeans rolled at my ankles and the ponytail hanging through the hole of my Phoenix ball cap and the chunky sneakers I was wearing—I did have to admit I look like a hip dad from brooklyn, at least. I unpacked and repacked my backpack for the third time, just to have something to do so I didn’t get to campus an entire hour early.

But all too soon, I had packed snacks and lunch and a protein smoothie, and grabbed my cell phone and e-reader and keys, and I stood at the door awkwardly—which is where Charlie found me.

“Wow Bels, first day already. You got everything you need?” Before I could answer he was pulling out his wallet, and handing over a stack of bills, “Here, just in case you need anything. And if you remind me later this week, we can get you a card setup with my bank for emergencies and things so you always have whatever you need.”

I could tell he wouldn’t take any arguments so I took the cash, nodded okay, and walked out the door to my truck.

Despite all my attempts to waste time at home, I was still sitting outside on a bench in the nice green space outside of the building for my first class with thirty-five minutes to spare. So I pulled out my e-reader and loaded the wlw horror-romance I had been reading for the past week, and was interrupted before I could get past the first sentence by the sound of an engine. Jacob was right about not needing a ride; he was pulling up on a nice looking customized motorcycle that he was parking in the bike rack. I decided to yell over to him,

“Scared someone will steal your pride and joy, Black?” He scanned the quad in confusion for a moment before finding me and a grin breaking out on his face. He finished putting the lock on his bike and sauntered towards me.

“Actually yes, I am worried; it’s a one of a kind build, and I literally couldn’t replace her!”

“Her! God you love your toys don’t you?”

He looked at me in horror, “She isn’t a toy! And don’t act like you haven’t already named your precious truck as well.”

I smirked and shrugged right as we were joined by several other people that I vaguely recognized from orientation. Jacob, apparently a people person, didn’t miss a beat and remembered all of their names right off the bat. Angela, Jessica, Eric, Mike. Everyone was smiling and laughing, I suppose I missed a joke.

Angela sat next to me and leaned over, “Don’t worry, the joke you missed wasn’t that funny. Mike just likes retelling it to every new person he encounters.”

At that I laughed. I looked more closely at Angela, at the braid down her back, at her athleisure and comfortable tennis shoes, at the camera tucked into the side pocket of her backpack for easy access.

“We met at orientation last week right? I’m Bella.” She smiled sweetly,

“Yes I remember. You’re the one they gave the fancy scholarship to, who doesn’t want anyone to know that they invented a scholarship to get you to come here.”

I blushed, now remembering. She and Eric had already joined the campus newspaper and were assigned to do a story on me, which I turned down.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’m a writer so…I just prefer to be in the background. I like to tell stories, not be the center of them.”

“As a photographer I understand completely, but I hate to break it to you, everyone will still find out because they’re still printing the special awards announcement. It comes out later today.”

“Wow, that’s going to be actually terrible.”

Angela nodded in sympathy. Jacob tapped my foot with his,

“Bels I think the doors are open if you wanna go find seats,” he says with his eye scrunching grin. I’m starting to think he knows exactly what he looks like when he does that, and he’s doing it on purpose. But he also used Charlie’s nickname for me, which also buttered me up.

“yeah sure.” I put my e-reader back in my bag.

“What class do you guys have right now?” Angela asks. Before I can respond, Jacob does.

“Statistics!”

Mike looks at him sideways, “Man why are you so excited for a difficult math class?”

Jacob shrugs, “I like puzzles, especially difficult ones.” He looks my way at the end of his statement, and I try to tell myself it’s just because he was waiting on me to walk to class, but part of me thinks he sees me as a puzzle too.

“Eric and I have that class too I think, Hall 311?”

“Yeah exactly!”

“Cool, we’ll walk with you.” Eric helped Angela up by taking her hand, and I finally have my bag sorted so we can all start walking.

Jacob turns back to Jessica and Mike as we begin to walk away, “See you guys later, around lunch maybe?”

Mike and Jessica nod as they talk and turn the other direction.

The room for statistics is big, probably enough space for almost a hundred students. It looks like a theatre, except there’s a podium on the stage, and long rows of desks in front of every row of chairs. There are only about ten other people in the room so far.

Angela, Eric, Jacob, and I choose a row in the middle, slightly more towards the front. The class passes in a blur, and I hope that Jacob will help tutor me this semester.

I’m asking him about it as we walk to the big quad for lunch when we pass a small group of very strange looking people—all dressed in concoctions of clothing, rare vintage and couture mixed with modern style staples. They all looked amazing but also like they should be at fashion week not at Connell University. I unashamedly stared, my head swiveling in a 180 as we passed them—walking in opposite directions. One of them, a guy with dark hair and even darker eyes turned his head as well to gaze back at me. His look was chilling, like if a marble statue had living eyes. Angela and Eric were walking behind us and sped up to join us as they passed.

“Those are the Cullens,” Angela said as we continued on, “They went to our high school too. Those three graduated with us last year. Their an odd group, usually stick to themselves.”

I nodded along as she spoke.

“huh. interesting,” then changed the subject because the dark haired guy who had turned his head to meet my gaze had really perturbed me. “So Jacob, will you tutor me then? That class is going to kill me, I should’ve just chosen basic algebra or something theoretical..” I grumbled.

“Then why didn’t you?” Jacob seemed to be laughing at my pain already, so early into our new friendship, how rude.

“I’m writing a character who’s a math genius so I thought the experience would be helpful.” I told him as I rolled my eyes.

When we finally got to the quad, it was almost full. We were frantically looking for a spot when Jessica waved us over to where she and Mike had a picnic blanket spread on the ground and a huge spread of food.

“Surprise!” Jessica yelled as we got closer. “I know I went a little overboard but it’s our first day of college! With new friends! So I thought a celebratory lunch picnic was a MUST.”

This girl was a lot. But, she was sweet and thoughtful, so I thought to myself, I can handle some yelling, and some sunshiney exuberance. It was easier to fall into a friend group than I had previously thought.

In high school, I had friends. But I never had a friend group. I was painfully shy and quiet, preferring books and libraries to the loud conversation in the cafeteria. My friends and I hung out one on one, doing relaxed things.

Here I was though, sitting on one corner of a picnic blanket listening and laughing with all of these people I’d only just met last week. Jacob was sitting close enough to me that I could feel his body heat, and was handing me strawberries with whip cream on them because he noticed I couldn’t reach the whip bowl. Every few strawberries he would throw a plain one towards Mike, who almost always caught them in his mouth.

Lunch passed in a pleasant breeze, and almost too soon everyone had to get up. Everyone else had English after lunch, except for me and Angela, who asked me to explore the huge campus library with her. That had already been my plan for my break, so I acquiesced.

The library was large. Really large. It was seven stories tall and each floor seemed to go on forever. There was a large open atrium through the center of the building, and on the ground floor it housed a gorgeous area for reading and studying. They had the most comfortable, plush reading chairs I had ever seen, and beautiful oak study tables. The atrium alone was larger than a normal lecture hall. To the back of the atrium was a spiral staircase going up to each floor, and to the right side, a gorgeous hall of elevators. They look like the elevators you’d see in a classic movie set in New York City. And I was grateful; there was no way I was making it up and down that spiral staircase.

Each floor had a singular purpose, except the first two floors which shared the same purpose: fiction. The other floors were for general nonfiction, record keeping, historical research, medical research, and on top—the real reason I was persuaded to come to this school—their collection of rare books, mostly pertaining to uncommon myths and legends from across the world. You couldn’t get to the seventh floor without a reason and a special access pass. And after this semester, I would have one.

Angela and I settled in on the third floor in a cozy corner with a big window overlooking the quad, and with little else to do until we had all of our syllabi for our courses, we wondered the stacks and looked at books until an hour and a half had passed and it was time to go back to the real world. I’d be back; I had found my favorite spot on campus.

Jacob, Mike, and Jessica came out of a hall across the quad right as we exited the library, all of them looking worse for wear. We met somewhere in the middle, and before we could ask Jacob volunteered the information,

“We got a hardass english professor, I don’t know how we’re gonna make it through the semester.” I hadn’t seen Jacob without a smirk or a smile this whole time, and it was disconcerting.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you,” I said as I laughed, “I bet Angela will help too since we both have already finished the course you’re taking.” I looked nervously to Angela hoping she wouldn’t be upset that I volunteered her for something. She looked as nice as she had all day.

“Yeah ofcourse! What did the professor say?”

As we talked we all seemed to know to walk towards the parking lot I was supposing we had all parked in.

Mike spoke up to answer the question.

“Well, honestly a lot of what she said was a blur. But she gave us a ten page syllabus and the assignments and requirements are super high. She also said she grades super harsh, dude. Like, basically if you don’t at least make a B then she fails you.”

“God that’s so arbitrary and awful. I hate professors like that.” Everyone looked at me oddly, except Angela who already knew from our library conversations that I had taken college courses in high school.

“I took college courses in high school for dual credit. That’s how I’m ahead in my English courses and some others.” Everyone shared the “O” face for a few seconds, and then we arrived where Jacob had parked his bike. It was, of-course, still there. He began unlocking it as everyone made plans to see each other on Wednesday, the next day we all had this class schedule. Jacob got on his bike and smiled at me—

“see you tomorrow for biology, Bels?”

“Yeah for sure.” I smiled back. The rest of us continued on a little ways to get to the parking lot, and apparently they had all carpooled, so once we hit the blacktop I was on my own.

That’s when it happened. The door to my chevy was open, blocking my view of oncoming cars. I didn’t think there would be any since the lot had almost emptied out. My backpack was stashed in the cab. The truck was on, and loud. I was looking at a scratch I thought was new near the back tire, when suddenly someone was next to me, their arm around my body.

The noise of the van ricocheting was loud, louder than the engine of my truck. And there, in the van’s side, was a hand. It was connected to an arm, and that to an odd person I had never met, only seen once. The dark haired guy who stared back at me earlier today. The van had stopped moving. I was breathing heavily now, from the adrenaline rush. I opened my mouth to speak but he just put his finger on his lips and shook his head no. He grabbed me and somehow we were ducking on the other side of the truck as the van driver looked around out of his passenger window. Just a young guy driving recklessly in a parking lot with his music too loud. He had a small cut on his forehead. He didn’t see us and I guess didn’t care very much about damaging my beat up looking truck, because he sped away. I looked over my shoulder expecting to see dark hair and marble skin, but he was gone too. So I got in my truck and drove home.

Unfortunately for me, Charlie was not as chill when I told him about the tiny, little, insignificant fender bender over dinner. We left our food on our plates at the dinner, he dropped a couple of twenties on the table and dragged me into the car and down to the hospital to get checked out.

Charlie’s name must have some sort of pull because we were ushured directly from the ER waiting room to one of the open beds at the back where a nurse took my history, and before she could even finish, a tall blonde doctor man swept in, saying,

“I’ve got this one Rose. Hello Charlie.” to which, the man I call father BLUSHED, as in, red in the cheeks and neck. Charlie Swan was blushing at the handsome doctor, which is how I missed his question. I was looking back and forth between them, so he had to repeat himself.

“How are you feeling Bella? Any dizziness, nausea, pain anywhere?”

“I feel fine. I wasn’t in the car or even near it when the van tapped it. Some guy pulled me out of the way.”

“Okay, well I don’t think you have a concussion, but take it easy these next few days.”

“Sure.” I say, and do my best not to roll my eyes. I’m taking in the handsome guy who is clearly Charlie’s boyfriend or something.

“Like I said, I’m Dr. Cullen and you can always ask for me here or call my office if you need anything.”

“Okay, thanks. That’s very kind.” I looked at Charlie who was trying very hard not to look at the Doctor, who then said,

“Alright, nice to meet you then. Charlie.” He smiled pleasantly in Charlie’s direction and walked out of the Emergency Room. I raised my eyebrows at Charlie who shook his head and pulled out his wallet. He handed me a healthcare card with my name on it, which rendered me speechless for the moment. Then he handed me his card.

“Are you okay to check yourself out? I just want to ask the doctor a few more questions.”

“uh huh. okay, sure.” He walked through the same door that Dr. Cullen had, and a minute later the nurse came back.

“Oh don’t worry about that sweetie, it was for the chief, we don’t charge him here.” She said as I tried to ask where to check out. Well that’s weird but alright. I went to find Charlie. Which wasn’t hard because the nurse also gave me directions to Dr. Cullen’s office.

Where the door was open a crack. And I could see the doctor, sitting on the edge of his desk. And Charlie, standing in the gap between the doctors knees. And their fingers intertwined as they had a hushed conversation. It was clearly a private moment and I didn’t want Charlie to feel upset or embarrassed so I scurried away to wait for him outside of the lobby. He came down soon enough. I teased him only with a raised eyebrow.

“So what are we doing for dinner now that you’ve satisfied your anxieties about my well being?”

He rolled his eyes. “Just get in the car Bella.”

We grilled steaks on the porch at home, and they were delicious, actually.

chapter four: it’s—la push

The next few weeks passed without incident; classes, homework, studying with the group and one on one with Jacob or Angela, dinners with Charlie. I saw the guy who saved me around campus and in one of my classes but he always disappeared before I could approach him to thank him or quiz him or even say, “what the fuck?”
A month later we were having another group picnic when the guys started talking about La Push. Eric kept saying, “It’s la push, baby,” because it was making Angela laugh. Jess was rolling her eyes at the boys who were acting like they had skills—probably because she was in a surfing club as a kid in California, and actually knew what she was doing on a surf board. I knew this, because Jess really loved to talk about her accomplishments. She was a sweet and good friend in other, less self centered ways, so listening to her talk about herself a bit was the least I could do. It was my personal opinion that she only talked about her accomplishments so much because no one in her family ever took any pride in her. And she was an impressive person, you had to give her that.
I was distracted from their conversation by the weird Cullen guy who was sitting on the edge of the quad with headphones on and occassionally looked over to stare directly at me and then looked away every time I caught him. He wasn’t jetting off campus though, which was a break in our usual routine of me spotting him, trying to catch him, and then him disappearing before I could. Mike was waving his hand in front of my face.
“Earth to Arizonaaa! Did you hear Jess?” I shook my head no, and felt myself blushing from embarrassment. Jess smiled at me, a little knowingly. She had caught me nearly chasing after Edward (she told me that was his name) last week.
“Yeah Bels, are you coming to the beach? You can come see the res finally!” Jacob jumped into the conversation. He’d been trying to persuade me to come explore the res for almost as long as I’d known him.
“Why are we going to the beach?” I asked, “Because I don’t surf. I don’t really do…water. Or wetness.” Jacob raised his eyebrows insinuatingly but said nothing. Eric choked on his water. The girls both rolled their eyes. Angela was the next to persuade me—
“You should come though! There’s stuff other than surfing, like the res museum, and trails, and whale watching.” Jacob looked at me with that half smile puppy eyes face that he did. I rolled my eyes now too, very specifically at him. His smile grew because he knew by now, that meant I was giving in.
“Alright, alright. I’ll come. I gotta do something though. I’ll be right back.” As I got up it drew all of their attention, which now meant I was going to have to be watched and perceived as I approached the werid creepy guy who saved my life, but nonetheless, some things must be done. I half expected that he would get up and run away as he saw me approach, but he didnt. He made eye contact with me as I got up and walked towards him, and stopped a foot from where he was sitting. He made no move to take off his headphones or to say anything. He just kept staring at me.
“Hello? Are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding me? Or perhaps why you saved me from that van? Or maybe HOW you did it?” At that his eyes flared and he pulled his overear headphones off his head and around his neck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice was smooth like honey with the tiniest bit of raspiness in it. It was a very pleasant sound. I tried not to think about that.
“You do know what I’m talking about. How did the van stop? How did we get on the other side of my truck? How do you move so fast? You know exactly what I’m saying.” I stared him down. His eyes were squinted in small slints as he stared at me. He stood up and brushed off his pants.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I guess you’ll never know either.” His mouth gave the smallest smirk, as he turned to walk away.
I guess he didn’t expect me to follow him, because he looked over his shoulder and met my eyes with an annoyed look. He faced forward and kept walking.
“are you gonna stalk me now?” He asked from ahead of me.
“if that’s what it takes! I don’t know what possesses a person to be so goddamn rude when I’ve done literally nothing to you!” I called out after him. He stopped in his tracks and I almost ran straight into his back. I put out a hand to steady myself, and his shoulder muscles where I touched him were hard as concrete. He jerked away from my touch, and turned so fast I barely saw a blur before his stony golden eyes were staring down at me.
“You’ve done nothing to me?” he asked, his voice so accusatory I started to think I had done something to him. But no, there was no way, I’d never even met him before. He stepped closer, until his face was only inches from mine.
“You’re doing something to me by just existing.” His breath was cold and minty and brushed across my cheek. I felt a shiver down my body, and stood mute as I watched him turn again and walk away from me. What did he mean, I was doing something to him by existing? He was offended by my very existence? I thought of several other possible meanings that brought warmth to my cheeks, but dismissed them easily. I felt a hand on my shoulder and almost jumped out my skin thinking it was him. But then I heard Jacob’s voice and relaxed.
“You okay Bels? What were you talking to that guy about? I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me back towards the group.
“Yeah me either.” but I knew I was lying. Some part of me had been excited by the intensity of his eyes on mine, the soft brush of his breath on my cheek.

I didn’t see Edward again until Friday, during the Writing and Literature Intensive that we had together. I always sat in the same place, front row, second table from the door. Everyone else tended to move around a bit, but I liked consistency. I was surprised when Edward sat next to me, and even more surprised when he said hello. I was so surprised I was speechless for a moment.
“What cat got your tongue? Nothing to say to me now? Earlier this week you were basically chasing me down to talk to me.” His right eyebrow raised inquisitively and that little smirk came back. He just waited for me to have something to say. I sat back in my chair, crossed my arms across my chest and stared back at him. He was quite pretty this close up. His eyes were more amber than golden, I saw now. There were bright flecks in them, that did look almost gold. His hair was thick and had a slight curl to it, falling messily around his ears and neck. He had a very prominent jawline, broad shoulders, high cheekbones, large and well defined eyebrows. I looked away and continued to ignore him, which wasn’t hard because the class started a minute later when the professor announced we’d be doing critiques with whoever we were sitting with today. Well shit. I turned towards Edward who already had his paper out, like he had already known somehow what we were doing. Even though it wasn’t on the syllabus for today. Weird.
I dug through my bag to find this weeks story, about a girl being hunted by a monster. The professor was still droning on and on about making sure we gave good critiques, because we’d be graded not only on our own edits but on the critiques and edits of our partner. Wasn’t that just lovely? I handed mine to Edward wordlessly, and held my hand out for his. He sat it in my hand and our fingers brushed against one another as he did. I felt another shiver go down my body as he pulled away and grabbed a pink pen. He’s going to edit my paper with a pink pen. This guy gets more interesting every day. I turned to his paper.
Critiquing his story took me almost the whole period; it was ten pages long and well done, and surprising. He had written a body horror story about a monster-parasite who grew inside of a person and had to kill the person to become alive, but from the perspective of the monster. It was captivating and I felt myself fall into his story and empathize with the creature, and be horrified by the ending.
When I finished I turned to give him back his paper and saw that he too was finished and was staring at the last page of my story.
“Are you done, or..?” His head snapped towards me, and I saw that his cheeks were wet.
“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “Your story was good. I’m glad I got to read it.” I wish this man would stop surprising me, first with rudeness and now with kindness.
“Oh. Well thanks. I liked yours alot too.” He looked horrified.
“You liked it? Didn’t it freak you out?”
“Well I mean, I enjoy body horror, and I really sort of emapthized with your monster, I mean it must be hard to want to be alive so badly but be so terrified of your own capacity for violence.”
His eyes were wide and his mouth was set in a hard line.
“That’s a very interesting takeaway. But perhaps you should be a little more scared of monsters. You never know when they’re out to get you.” I sneered a little at that, and laughed.
“Okay dude. I think I’m good, it’s just a story.” He rolled his eyes, which was actually hilarious to see. I started laughing again.
“Listen, do you want to try to be normal? Come and hangout with me and my friends this weekend at the beach? We can start over, try and be friends. Shake on it, even.” I held out my hand in a gesture of good will. He looked from my face to my hand.
“Which beach?” he asked.
“La Push.” he grimaced, but took my hand, shaking it gently.
“I’ll see. I’ll probably be busy though.”
“You’ll be busy all weekend?” Other students were packing up their bags. He was still holding onto my hand, his thumb rubbing against the back of my hand mindlessly. I looked at our hands together, his skin soft on mine, his hand so strong.
“Yeah probably.” He took his hand away from mine, grabbed his bag and was through the door so quick. I shook myself out of it and moved on. I had other classes to get to.

I drove out to the res early in the morning, to surprise Jacob with breakfast. I knew he loved the brekke sandwiches from Bigwolf Coffee and Bakery, so I had gotten him two, and gotten myself a ridiculous amount of pastries, and a big carafe of coffee for us to share. I was the one surprised though, when I pulled into his driveway to see the garage door open and Jacob working out without his shirt. He was ripped. His sweat was glistening, His hair swinging back and forth from a ponytail as he finished a set of pullups. He dropped down from the pullup bar and broke out into a huge shit eating grin, coming towards me with his arms wide.
“BELS! Want a big ol’ sweaty hug? Come on! get in here!!” I shrieked and ducked away from him, holding out breakfast as a peace offerirng.
“AHH! I’ve got coffee and brekke’s for you, you sure you want to make me drop it?” He held his hands up in surrender, and grabbed his workout towel to wipe down with.
“Come on in the house. Billy is out with the guys, your dad included I think. I just got to hop in the shower real quick.” I walked through the house behind him, stopping in the kitchen.
“I think I can figure out your microwave Jake. Go shower, you stink.” I teased him.
He playfully wafted his ‘stink’ towards me with his hand as he walked away laughing.
I set down the carafe and found mugs, popped our breakfasts in the oven on broil to heat them up really quick, and looked around the house. There was a photo on the wall of an older woman, and then what looked like a family photo when Jacob was little with both of his parents and older sisters. I was perusing their cookbooks when Jacob walked out with a towel wrapped around his hair, grey sweatpants, no shirt.
“Damn Jacob are you going to wear a shirt at all today? Aren’t you cold?”
“I just noticed how you enjoyed staring at me earlier, thought I’d give you another oppurtunity.” The side of his mouth quirked into a little grin. His smile was so playful and beautiful. UGH! I could not be having these thoughts.
I rolled up the handtowel I had been using and popped him on the stomach with it.
“Here let me give you extra motivation to wear actual clothes!” He started backing away and I followed him through the house, chasing him with the towel at a speed walk. I managed to catch him with it a couple more times, both of us laughing throughout the house. He had led me to his bedroom, which I followed him into. He had film and music posters on the wall, and on his desk he had dozens of sketches of plants and landscapes.
“Jacob. These drawings are amazing! You’re a great artist.” He just shrugged, pulling out a longsleeve and a band teeshirt, putting them both on. He pulled the towel off his head, drying his hair a bit more as he did.
“They’re alright. They need a little more work. My ecology professor encouraged met to enter the winter art showing but I’m not sure yet.”
“You should! Now come on the foods getting cold again.”

We watched a movie about space travel, and then met the others at the beach. The wind was biting and chilly, so Angela and I both sat wrapped in blankets while everyone else got ready to surf and pulled out their equipment. Jess teased me for inviting Edward. Jacob asked why I even bothered. Angela thought it was very sweet of me. Mike was flustered by the presence of a new guy, Isaac. Jess had invited him last minute to set him up with Mike which ofcourse made him unable to string two words together. Isaac didn’t seem to mind, he just chatted away, completely oblivious to Mike’s distress.
Edward did not show up. Jacob took me for a walk along the beach, pointing out peaks for cliff jumping, a spot where he almost drowned as a kid, and some of his favorite plants on the edge of the forest.
“So what’s your deal with that Cullen guy?”
“Honestly I don’t know. He kind of saved me from being crushed by a car at the begining of the semester, and then was super rude to me, and then was really nice to me? He’s very confusing.”
“You should really stay away from that whole family Bels. They’re creepy.”
“That’s a super judgemental thing to say about people you don’t know Jake. Do you have some secret beef with the Cullens?”
“No.. I just..”
“You’re being super sketchy right now. Spit it out, whatever it is.”
“The tribe just has a legend about them, or I guess maybe about people who look like them, but they look eerily like the sketches in this legend.” He had stoked my curiousity.
“What legend?”
“I’m not really supposed to talk about it with outsiders.”
“If you’re really not supposed to, thats okay, but I’d really, really like to hear.”
He looked over at me, and I tried to make my eyes and face look as pleading as possible.
“Okay. Well basically there’s a legend about our tribe, about a blessing we received for being the protectors of the land. The Blessing was the ability to shift into wolf-forms and walk through our forest connected to all other beings, caring for them all. The more threats to the land and those living on it, the more members of the tribe would awaken the blessing inside of them. Long ago, there was a grave threat to the land and the tribe, and so many, many members blessings were awakened, and turned. The threat soon revealed itself to be monstrous creatures who looked like humans but were superhumanly gifted and survived by drinking the blood of other creatures. The monsters attacked the village in the night while the tribe was sleeping, and many of the Blessed warriors fell. The monsters had been watching you see. And they hungered for our blood more than any others. They knew that if they attacked when we were at full strength, they would lose, and die. They were hard to defeat, but at last, our warriors were victorious. The Cullens come into the story later; they were a seperate group from the original monsters, and when they were caught by my great-great grandfather they claimed to only survive on the blood of animals, and to have no desire to harm the tribe or other humans. So the chief made a solemn treaty with this group, that they would have peace, so long as no harm came to the land or the tribe or the other humans nearby. There’s a portrait of the treaty, and the people in the portrait..they look almost exactly like the Cullens still look today.”
“Wow. Thats…wild. Can I see the portrait? Or no?”
“Yeah it’s in the museum. It’s labeled as ‘Treaty with New Settlers’ so only tribe members know the legend. You can’t spread it around that I told you, okay?” He looked anxious. I put my hand on his arm, his large and strong arm,
“I promise Jacob. I won’t ever breathe a word of it. Thank you for sharing with me.” He looked down at me, and I looked up at him. I could feel the heat between us, the warmth of his arm under my hand, and despite my commitment to my studies and my solitude, I could feel that I would let whatever happened, happen. But I didn’t need to worry, because Eric ran up behind us to show us a frog.
We had a delicious lunch in the tribal hall, and then Angela and I went to explore the museum. Jess and the guys went back to Jacob’s house to play board games or video games or something. It only took me a little while to find the portrait he told me about—sure enough I saw a blonde man that looked just like Carlisle, and next to him, amber eyes boring into mine, was an exact image of Edward as he looked just yesterday when he had stared into my eyes.

FIVE—MUSHROOM RAVIOLI IN PORT ANGELES

SIX—“I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE”

SEVEN—BELLA MEETS THE CULLENS

EIGHT—THE BASEBALL GAME

NINE—BELLA FLEES WITH ALICE AND JASPER (RUNNING A LONG TIME)

TEN—THE CALL FROM JAMES/ ESCAPE FROM A&J

ELEVEN—FROM THE BALLET STUDIO TO THE HOSPITAL

TWELVE—THE SPRING BALL

THIRTEEN—BELLA’S BIRTHDAY

FOURTEEN—EDWARD ABANDONS BELLA

FIFTEEN—(BIG SAD TIME)

SIXTEEN—BELLA HAS FRIENDS! (AGAIN)

SEVENTEEN—BELLA AND JACOB WITH BIKES

EIGHTEEN—JACOB BECOMES A WEREWOLF

NINETEEN—BELLA EXPERIMENTS WITH ADRENALINE (CLIFF DIVING)

TWENTY—ALICE RETURNS!

TWENTY ONE—ADVENTURE IN ITALY!

TWENTY TWO—THE VOLTOURI

*TWENTY THREE—EDWARD/ JACOB/ BELLA CONFRONTATION

TWENTY FOUR—EDWARDS PROPOSAL (HOW QUIRKY AND WEIRD!)

TWENTY FIVE—NEWBORN ARMY RISES

TWENTY SIX—ALICE ANNOUNCES A PARTY TO ALLEIVE TENSION

(she sees a vision of victoria coming)

TWENTY SEVEN—VISITING JACKSONVILLE

TWENTY EIGHT—BELLA VISITS PACKHOUSE

TWENTY NINE—VAMPIRE & WEREWOLF ALLEGIANCE

THIRTY—THE BIG PARTY

(alice sees a vision of the newborn army)

THIRTY ONE—TRAINING BEFORE BATTLE

THIRTY TWO—EDWARD/ JACOB/ BELLA ON THE MOUNTAIN

THIRTY THREE—THE BATTLES

THIRTY FOUR—“I’D RATHER GET ALL THE REBREAKING DONE AT ONCE”

THIRTY FIVE—EDWARD & BELLA GO TO SOUTH AMERICA

THIRTY SIX—BELLA GETS SICK

THIRTY SEVEN—JACOB RETURNS

THIRTY EIGHT—BELLA BECOMES A VAMPIRE

THIRTY NINE—ALICE’S VOLTOURI VISION

FORTY—ALICE & JASPER LEAVE

FORTY ONE—UNIFICATION OF CLANS

FORTY TWO—BELLA TRAINING

FORTY THREE—BATTLE AGAINST VOLTOURI

FORTY FOUR—THE ENDING

go home to the hearth