Untitled bodies

i’m
the world is on fire
and i’m lying on a couch
holding it together with tape and with glue
a body like paper flapping in the wind
i hear the crackling through the window
the shouts of desire for a world made anew
the heat of the flames finds its way to me
but my feet will not carry me from it
my bones are made of ashes and they’re blowing away
the world is on fire
and i’m lying on a couch staring at a wall
i’m wishing my body would find its way to the streets and throw a brick through a window or pump my fist in the air
i’m wishing for lungs strong enough to never stop screaming about justice and care
but i’m lying on a couch
holding together with tape and with glue
a body that is too weak to fight and too stubborn to die
the flames took my neighbors and the heat drove people to madness
and still i lie here and stare at a wall
tears wet my pillow that my cheeks never felt
i’m wishing the fire would take me out
but i lay here and witness the world and it’s changing and turning inside out
the world is on fire
and i’m lying on a couch

can you imagine
a body
instead of skin, muscle, joint, cartilage

can you imagine
a body
of paper, concrete, glass, glue

can you imagine feeling a body
of paper, concrete, glass, and glue?

the glue can’t hold it all together
was never made for mixed materials
it was made for craft projects
for glitter
not for concrete and blood and bone

can you imagine carrying a body
of paper, concrete, glass, and glue?

the concrete is so heavy
and scrapes against glass and bone alike
as it clumsily tries to function
it’s supposed to stay still, unmoving
it’s supposed to build structures, roads
not living bodies of breath and sweat

can you imagine holding a body
of paper, concrete, glass, and glue?

the glass is so breakable
it shatters at least once a day
it wasn’t made to grind together
scraping against itself day after day
it’s for looking through, for prettiness
not for jumping or bumping or walking or talking or running or

can you imagine
a body
of paper, concrete, glass, and glue?

can you imagine skin that wrinkles and tears and bruises from a touch
can you imagine muscles that crumble and crack and refuse to move
can you imagine joints that shatter and break and scream from the pain
can you imagine cartilage that sticks like off brand craft glue? never holding together, never binding properly or in the right place, never keeping things from falling apart?
can you imagine?

can you imagine, my body?
living in it, moment to moment
small pains to excruciating pains?
breaks, bruises, dislocations?